117 Funny Easter Quotes To Crack Up Your Greeting Card

Written by: Lara
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A sign with Happy Easter and a Easter basket filled with eggs

Easter is just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with a basket full of egg-citing humor? Whether you’re hosting an egg hunt, attending a family brunch, or just looking to add some laughter to your day, we’ve got you covered with a treasure trove of 117 funny Easter quotes that are bound to crack everyone up!

From funny Easter messages for cards to puns about bunnies, eggs, and everything in between! Our collection of funny Easter sayings is the perfect way to light up your celebrations.

So, grab your Easter bonnet, put on your bunny ears, and prepare for an egg-squisite journey through humor and hilarity.

Save these funny Easter messages for cards

Don’t forget to save these funny Easter quotes on Pinterest!

Funny Easter messages for cards with an image of colorful flowers and eggs

Funny Easter quotes about food

1. “I’m just here for the chocolate. Happy Easter!”

2. “Remember, calories don’t count on Easter!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny printable Easter card

3. “Easter: when eating chocolate for breakfast is acceptable.”

4. “Hand over the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter card message with "Hand over the chocolate and noby gets hurt.:
Photo courtesy of Animal Crackers Studio

5. “I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had three eggs… but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.” Caroline Rhea

6. “Follow the bunny… he has the chocolate.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny printable Easter card

7. “I’m very good at hiding chocolate eggs… in my stomach.”

8. “Chocolate bunny quote: I wanted to say something inspirational this Easter, but I’m hollow inside.”

9. “Easter is the day we celebrate the resurrection of calories.”

10. “Happy Stuff-your-face-with-chocolate Day!”

11. “Easter is the perfect excuse to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

12. ” I’m on ‘Cocoa Cleanse’ this Easter, it’s a chocolate-only diet.”

13. Funny Easter candy hierarchy card.
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter card with the hierarchy of Easter candy
Photo courtesy of Press and Pour

14. “Easter: the day when you can legally overdose on chocolate!”

15. “Chocolate bunnies are proof that happiness can be molded.”

16. “The deeply religious meaning of Easter is not lost on me but can I just say that I totally love eggs and chocolate, you guys.”

17. “Easter: the day you can legally steal candy from your children’s baskets!”

18. “Bite me.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter card with a chocolate bunny and the text "Bite me"
Photo courtesy of Pine and Isle

Funny Easter quotes for friends

19. “You’re one of the coolest peeps I know.”

20. “Enjoy putting literally all your eggs in one basket.”

21. “I told you not to piss off the Easter Bunny.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter wishes card with a dirty door
Photo courtesy of Seven Miles per Second

22. “Have you ever noticed that chocolate and poop are the same color? Yeah, don’t think about it too long. Happy Easter.”

23. “Happy Easter. Because this makes sense.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter sayings card with an image of Jesus and the Easter bunny
Photo courtesy of Awkward Company

24. “Somebunny loves you… Not me. But I’m sure there is some bunny out there that really loves you.”

25. “Happy Easter from your favorite peeps.”

26. “Talk to the butt as the ears aren’t listening. Hoppy Easter!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter message for a card with the butt of a bunny and "talk to the butt as the ears aren't listering"
Photo courtesy of Toby Creates

27. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” —Bernard Meltzer

28. “Two things I learned from the Easter bunny: Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day and some body parts should be floppy.”

29. “If you’re wondering where I’ve hidden the Easter eggs… They’re in my stomach.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Photo courtesy of Friendlily Press

30. “What comes after Easter Sunday? Egg fart Monday!”

31. “This year I’m organizing an adult eggs hunt. Instead of eggs, I’ll hide bottles of wine, are you coming too?”

32. “I said a hip hop the hippie to the hippie. To the hip hip hop and you don’t stop.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

FunnyEaster greeting card with a bunny and a text
Photo courtesy of Sketchy Print Co

Funny easter sayings for children

33. “Hopping by to wish you an egg-cellent Easter!”

34. “May your Easter be as fluffy and happy as the Easter Bunny’s tail!”

35. “Where is the Easter candy?”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter quote card with "where's the Easter candy?!" and an image of a shark
Photo courtesy of ALR Designss

36. “I hope the Easter Bunny brings you so many treats that you’ll have to share with your teddy bears!”

37. “Easter is the day to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner without any grown-up rules!”

38. Funny bunny shark.
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny shark-inspired Easter card
Photo courtesy of ALR Designss

Funny Easter quotes for your significant other

39. “I can be your bunny this easter.”

40. “I don’t need the Easter bunny, I’ve got you.”

41. “Bend me over… I mean, Happy Easter!”

42. “You can put all your eggs in my basket.”

43. “I’ve put all my eggs in your basket this Easter.”

44. “No bunny loves you more than me.”

45. “I like your bum.”

46. “I’d like to hop down your bunny trail.”

47. Peep show card.
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter quotes card for loved one with "peep show" andn chicks
Photo courtesy of Press and Pour

48. “You must be the Easter Bunny because you’ve got me all egg-cited.”

49. “Sending you bunny kisses and Easter wishes.”

50. “Eat me like your chocolate bunny.”

51. “Forget the Easter bunny, this bunny loves you more.”

Do you love these funny Easter sayings for your partner? Then you will love these hilarious messages for your loved one too!

52. “Let’s celebrate this Easter bunny-style if you know what I mean…”

53. “Happy Easter, hunny bunny!”

54. “You are like a chocolate bunny. Cute and sweet and I want to nibble your ears.”

55. “I like bunny butts and I cannot lie. You otha brothas can´t deny. That when a Chocolate bunny walks in wit´ a itty bitty waist an ´A round thing in yo´ face. You get SPRUNG.”

56. “Happy Easter to one hot piece of tail.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter card message with "Happy Easter to one hot piece of tail"
Photo courtesy of Hennel Paper Co

Funny easter cards for feminist

57. “Let’s crack the patriarchy.”

58. “Tis the season to egg the patriarchy.”

59. “Hands off our eggs.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

hand off our eggs Easter card message
Photo courtesy of Shop Twisted Goods

Funny easter sayings about religion and Jesus

60. “Jesus was a brown-skinned liberal refugee.”

61. “Spoiler alert. He comes back and dies again.”

62. “YOLO! JK, BRB- Jesus.”

63. “Lent was invented so Catholics could take another shot at their New Year’s resolutions.” —Melanie White.

64. “Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.” —Adam Ferrara

65. “Guess who’s back bitches.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny religious Easter card with jesus and "Guess who's back"
Photo courtesy of Shop Twisted Goods

66. “A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, “When I come back if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off?'” —Jon Stewart

67. “If anyone is wondering what I’ll be doing this Easter, it’s the same as Jesus. Going out on Friday, coming back on Monday.”

68. “Easter: the day Jesus proved that even after a tough weekend, you can come back with a bang!”

69. “We’ll be right back.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny religious Easter card with the thomb stone and a sign that says "We'll be right back"
Photo courtesy of Shop Twisted Goods

70. “Easter is the original ‘I’ll be back’ moment in history.”

71. “Wishing you an Easter as epic as Jesus’ comeback!”

72. “Easter: the day Jesus showed us that you can rise to the occasion, even when you’re buried in work.”

73. “Easter is the day Jesus rose to the occasion, quite literally!”

74. “What do you mean? That wasn’t you who just said ‘Good morning’?”

Funny cartoon card with guards at Jesus' grave
Photo courtesy of Twigs Paper

75. “If it weren’t for capital punishment we wouldn’t have Easter.” — Bill Hicks

76. “I want to be as historically accurate as possible. Does anyone know exactly what time Jesus handed out all the chocolate Easter eggs?”

77. “I will celebrate anyone who can turn water into wine! Happy Easter.”

78. “I’m back baby! And I brought chocolate.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter quotes card with Jesus and "I'm back bay and I brough chocolate"
Photo courtesy of Sketchy Print Co

Funny Easter quotes for Instagram

79. “Easter: the one time it’s okay to put all your eggs in one Instagram post!”

80. “Huntin’ for eggs and hop-tastic memories this Easter!”

81. “Easter: the day my diet becomes ‘egg-sactly’ what I want it to be…chocolate-filled!”

82. “I’ve been a good egg this year.”

83. “Some bunny needs a mimosa.”

84. “Easter: the only time when it’s okay to put your eggs in someone else’s basket. #SharingIsCaring”

85. “I’m having a good hare day.”

86. “Easter calories don’t count, right? Asking for a friend. #EasterIndulgence”

87. “Hippity-hop, Easter’s on the way!”

88. “Don’t worry, be hoppy.”

89. “I’m all ears today.”

90. “Easter checklist: Find eggs, eat chocolate, repeat.”

Funny Easter quotes for Instagram with an Instagram mock up post
Funny Easter quote for Instagram

Funny Easter puns

91. “Why did the Easter egg hide? Because it was a little chicken!”

92. “Easter is egg-citing! Enjoy the hunt.”

93. “Easter is the day to egg-cercise your sweet tooth!”

94. “Why did the Easter egg hide? Because it didn’t want to get cracked!”

95. “How does the Easter bunny leave? He makes an eggs-it.”

96. “What’s the best way to make Easter easier? Put an ‘i’ where the ‘t’ is.”

97. “I hope your Easter is to dye for.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter pun card with "Help I'm dyeing"
Photo courtesy of Good Dirty Fun

98. “I’m on the egg-cercise program—eggs for breakfast, eggs for lunch, eggs for dinner!”

99. “Wishing you an egg-stravagantly fun Easter!”

100.” What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water? It’s going to take a while to get me hard. I just got laid by some chick.”

101. “Everybunny needs somebunny sometimes.”

102. “Why did the Easter egg hide in the grass? Because it didn’t want to be ‘egg-sposed’!”

103. “Hoppy Easter.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Easter pun card with a glass of beer and bunny ears and the text "Hoppy Easter"
Photo courtesy of Paper Violet Designs

More funny Easter messages for cards

104. “The Easter Bunny doesn’t believe in you either.”

105. “I like the Easter Bunny – I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus.” —Barbara Smaller

106. “Eggbert was beginning to regret his late-night visit to the tattoo parlor.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter sayings card with an egg and "Eggbert was beginning to regret his late night visit to the tattoo parlor"
Photo courtesy of Animal Crackers Studio

107. “Easter: the only time it’s okay to put all your eggs in one basket.”

108. “I can’t believe it’s already Easter. It seems like just yesterday it wasn’t Easter.”

109. “Easter is the only time it’s okay to put all your eggs in one basket and count them.”

110. “Merry 4th of Easter.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Merry 4th Easter funny card
Photo courtesy of Free Range Lemons

111. “Easter egg hunts are proof your children can find things when they really want to.”

112. “Forget the Easter bunny. I need one that can do me some good – like the Energizer bunny.” — Melanie White

113. “Don’t bother, she’s all plastic. Hope you’re keeping it real this Easter.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny Easter Easter with : don't bother she's all plastic. Hope you're keeping it real this Easter.
Photo courtesy of Press and Pour

114. “How old is too old to join an Easter egg hunt? Asking for a friend…”

115. “Found about 1,000 eggs already. Trying to explain to this cop it’s not my fault if Whole Foods did a bad job hiding them.”

116. “Here’s to an Easter where your chocolate supply multiplies faster than bunnies do!”

117. “Remember, just like this Easter Egg, you are never too much!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Easter card with a box filled with eggs
Photo courtesy of Sketchy Print Co

Save these funny Easter wishes

Did you save these funny Easter quotes on Pinterest yet?

Funny Easter quotes to share with friends and family with an image of colorful Easter eggs

Final notes on funny Easter quotes

I hope you’ve found the perfect funny Easter quotes to brighten your day. And from all of us at The Best Travel Gifts, have an egg-ceptionally, hoppy, and laughter-filled Easter celebration!

AUTHOR

Hi, I’m Lara, a 30-year-old travel-lover (but who’s not these days?). I love reading, puzzling, world-heritage sites, researching, and making lists, which comes in quite handy when you’re making lists of travel gift ideas!