108 Funny Get Well Soon Messages That Will Speed Up The Recovery

Written by: Lara
Last update:
Three pink apples with the words "get well soon"
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Are you looking for a unique way to brighten someone’s day during their recovery? Then check out these 108 funny get well soon messages that will leave them in stitches (of the good kind)! They say that laughter is the best medicine, so I’m sure they will roll out of the hospital with these hilarious get well wishes they will roll on the hospital floor laughing.

Whether you need funny get well soon quotes after surgery, chemo, or just the flu, we’ve got you covered with witty jokes and one-liners for your friends, siblings, parents, grandparents, and co-workers!

So let’s dive in and give them that prescribed dose of humor!

Save these funny get well soon messages

Don’t forget to save these funny get well soon quotes on Pinterest so you’ll know where to look to cheer up the next person who needs the support!

108 funny get well soon card messages with a background image of pills

Funny get well card messages for friends

1. “I’m sorry life shat on you, I’m here when you need me!”

2. “I wish I could take your pain and give it to someone we both really hate. Get well soon!”

3. “I thought you could use some Tupac inspiration now; ‘No matter how hard it gets, stick your chest out, keep ya head up… and handle it!’ I know you’ve got this and I’m here for you whenever you need me.”

4. “Get well soon, please. OK, thanks!”

5. “Send you good vibes and strong drinks! Get better soon.”

6. “I promise not to ask how you are. Instead, I’ll entertain you with gossipy conversation and weird memes.”

7. “Hurry up and get better so we can hang out already! Geez…”

8. “Stop milking it…”

9. “It can’t be all sunshine and hookers!”

10. “Once this sh*t is over, here is to getting drunk like never before!”

11. “If oats can become milk, you can do anything!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well message on a card "If oats can become milk, you can do anything"
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

Funny get well soon messages for co-workers

12. “Get well soon, or I’ll have to start taking your place in all those boring meetings…”

13. “We miss your resting b*tch face in the office. Hope to have you back soon!”

14. “Oh you’re not feeling well? Some people will do absolutely anything for some time off… get better soon!”

15. “We miss your face! Get well soon.”

16. “Get well soon! PS. I told everyone you’re having your fourth boob job and are addicted to plastic surgery. I’m sure you don’t mind.”

17. “We knew you didn’t want to work anymore but this seems a bit extreme.”

18. “We know you were dying to take time off work but we never thought you’d go this far!”

19. “Did you get sick to get out of work? You could have just asked.”

20. “You will beat cancer. That is a statement of fact.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well soon message from the office "You will beat cancer. That is a statement of fact."
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

Funny get well soon quotes for boss

21. “We’ve realized that your absence gives us more ‘flexibility’ in our work hours. Just kidding, we miss your guidance. Get well soon!”

22. “We’ve had to resort to ‘rock, paper, scissors’ to settle disputes in your absence. Please hurry back and restore order!”

23. “Dear Boss, it’s amazing how productive the office becomes when you’re not here. But seriously, get well soon—we miss your leadership (and your coffee runs)!”

24. “We’ve discovered that without you, our meetings turn into aimless conversations about office plants. Get well soon, so we can have useful meetings again!”

25. “Get well soon, boss! We promise not to blame you for anything while you’re away, at least until you return.”

26. “Without you around, we’re like a ship without a captain. And right now, the office ship is sailing in circles! Get well soon and steer us back on course.”

27. “The office hasn’t been the same since you left. We’ve all suddenly become experts in ‘boss impersonation.’ Get well soon, or we’ll be out of a job!”

28. “While you’re away, we’ve been conducting a scientific experiment: Can an office survive without its boss? Results are inconclusive—please return ASAP!”

29. “Your absence has taught us the true value of a good boss—someone to blame for everything. Get well soon so we can start pointing fingers again!”

Funny funny get well soon quote for your boss
Funny get well soon message for boss

Funny get well quotes for siblings

30. “The lengths you’ll go to for a bit of attention. JK I hope you get better soon!”

31. “Get well soon! I can only be nice to you for so long.”

32. “You’ve always had this uncanny ability to defy the odds. I have no doubt you can do that again. Get well soon brother/sister.”

33. “YOU WILL LIVE to annoy me another day.”

34. “I know life is kind of a sh*t sandwich right now, so I’m here if you need me.”

35. “You are going to be just fine. You come from a strong line of lunatics!”

36. “The doctors said you will be back to your old self in no time! I’m not sure I’m ready for that though…”

37. “Don’t worry, you’ll be back to normal soon enough. Well… normal for you. Anyway. Hang in there!”

38. “I’m sorry you’re stupid, but I hope you get better soon!”

39. “Get better soon! I know you are not sick, I just think you can be better.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well soon quotes card "get better soon. i know you're not sick. I just think you can be better"
Photo courtesy of The Potty Mouth Press

Funny get well soon messages for a lover

40. “I hate to admit it, but the house is way too clean without you around. Get well soon, and we can mess it up together!”

41. “I can’t stand seeing you under the weather, so please just get better and I will feel better too!”

42. “I miss your face almost as much as I miss your cooking. Get well soon, or I might start eating cereal for every meal!”

43. “Hey corgeous, you’re going to beat this!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well soon pun card "hey corgeous, you're going to beat this"
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

44. “They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I’d prefer your presence and a pizza. Get well soon babe.”

45. “I thought about putting on that cute nurse costume, but I guess this card will have to do. Get well soon, and let’s keep the fantasy alive!”

46. “Get well soon, or I’ll be forced to sing love songs to you until you recover. And trust me, that’s worse than any illness!”

47. “I promise not to tease you about your ‘man-cold’ if you promise to get well soon. Deal?”

48. “Next time. Listen to your wife.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well soon quote from surgeon on card "next time, listen to your wife"
Photo courtesy of Foxy Doxie Designs

Funny get well card messages for parents or grandparents

49. “I hope you recover quickly because the garden needs tending, and I can’t tell the weeds from the flowers. Get well soon, mom/dad!”

50. “Just to be clear that ‘hip surgery’ did not make you cool. But I do hope you get better soon!”

51. “It’s the circle of life. Go to a joint, smoke a joint, crack a joint, need a new joint. Getting old stinks, I hope you recover soon!”

52. “One minute you’re young and fun and the next you’re getting hip replacements… Hope you’re back on your feet soon Dad!”

53. “I am once again asking you to get well soon!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well quotes card from Saunders
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

54. “Attention new hip owner! Please avoid extreme speeds and harsh acceleration for the first hundred miles.”

55. “I hear they prescribe extra hugs and grandchild cuddles for a speedy recovery. Lucky you!”

56. “Let’s make you feel great again!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well quotes from trump
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

Funny get well soon quotes after surgery

57. “Congrats on your successful surgery! Now you have the perfect excuse to boss people around and demand breakfast in bed. Get well soon!”

58. “Recovery rule #1: Milk your surgery for all the sympathy you can get. Recovery rule #2: Get well soon, because rule #1 expires eventually!”

59. “Wishing you a swift recovery and the ability to tie your shoelaces without any acrobatics. Get well soon!”

60. “If someone asks about your scar, tell them you were stabbed by a pirate!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well note with a pirate
Photo courtesy of Foxy Doxie Designs

Funny get well puns and jokes

61. “You’re a tough cookie.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well note with a cookie and the text "you're a tough cookie"
Photo courtesy of Pyramid Apparel Design

62. “An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough (guess you didn’t throw hard enough).”

63. “What do you give an injured lemon? Lemon-AID! I hope this cheered you up and helps you to get better soon!”

64. “Why did the orange go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well! Hope you get better soon and I hope this joke helped!”

65. “Hope you’re back on your feet soon.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well wishes card with a turtle on its back and "hope you're back on your feet soon!"
Photo courtesy of Animal Crackers Studio

Funny get well card messages for someone diagnosed with cancer

66. “I’m sorry, this fucking sucks! I promise not to use the words blessing or disguise.”

67. “On the bright side, you are not addicted to cocaine. Sorry, I just had to come up with something positive to cheer you up in this sh*tty time.”

68. “Your cancer doesn’t weird me out. Your taste in guys, however…”

69. “Cancer just messed with the wrong dude.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well quotes card "Cancer just messed with the wrong dude"
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

70. “I’m not sure if anyone‘s told you this yet, but your cancer is kind of being a d*ck.”

71. “I’m impressed by your body’s ability to grow things in inappropriate locations, and I hope it will start impressing me soon with its ability to heal too!”

72. “I’m sorry your body has betrayed you and I hope you two will come to terms soon!”

73. “Cancer can suck it!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well soon saying card for someone who has cancer
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

74. “Cancer just messed with the wrong boobs. Get better soon because I know you will beat it!”

75. “You got 99 problems but cancer ain’t one!”

76. “Glad you got everything off your chest, and now let’s get better soon!”

77. “Cancer can succ it.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well soon pun with a succulent plant
Photo courtesy of Phenix Greetings

Funny speedy recovery messages for people who broke a bone

78. “They say duct tape fixes everything, so I ordered you a ton of that!”

79. “I’m gonna find the stick and stones that broke your bones and say really mean words to them until it hurts.”

80. “Next time someone says break a leg, don’t take it literally.”

81. “When you fall down get back up again! Granted it may be with a cast, some crutches, and pain meds, but you can do it!”

82. “Get well soon… You clumsy bastard!”

83. “Skiing is all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And then it’s hilarious! But please get better soon so we can hit the slopes again soon!”

Do you want them to be more prepared for their next skiing trip? Check out these 50 awesome gifts for skiers to cheer them up and hopefully prevent any injury in the future!

84. “I admire your adventurous spirit my friend, but I less admire your propensity for injury. Hope you get better soon!”

85. “From now on, you’ll let other people do your stunts!”

86. “I hope you feel better soon. And if you need anything, just ring this bell… But wait until I leave to test it out!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well card message with a bell and "if you need anything, just ring this bell... but wait until I leave to test it out. "
Photo courtesy of Foxy Doxie Designs

Funny get well soon messages for anyone

87. “I heard you aren’t having a baja blast right now. So I decided to send you one to cheer you up!”

88. “They say laughter is the best medicine. Absolute bullsh*t, please take all the drugs!”

89. “They say god only gives what you can handle… apparently god thinks you’re a badass.”

90. Funny sudo cream card.
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny sudo cream get well soon card
Shop card at Ferry Clever

91. “This too shall pass… but until it does, it’s okay to feel like sh*t.”

92. “I hate it when people say “Well it could be worse” Well, you know what Becky? It could have been a hell of a lot better too!”

93. “They say laughter is the best medicine, so I prescribed you these pills for the coming weeks!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well soon messages card with a pill box of laughter
Photo courtesy of Foxy Doxie Designs

94. “Sending lots of hugs (and maybe one of those fatherly pats on the back).”

95. “I heard you were staying in a suite with three meals a day and 24-hour room service. I was jealous until I realized it was the hospital. Get well soon!”

96. “It could be worse, but it sure could be better. Wishing you a fast recovery!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well soon messages card with it sure could be better and a photo of the beach
Photo courtesy of Foxy Doxie Designs

97. “When I said go viral, it was a figure of speech…”

98. “Get well soon, or I’ll start telling embarrassing stories about you!”

99. “Being sick is just your body’s way of telling you to binge-watch your favorite shows guilt-free!”

100. Funny swearing card.
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well soon quote card with 'maybe swearing will help"
Photo courtesy of Spelling Bee Cards

101. “Get well soon, or I’ll come over and attempt to cook for you. Trust me, you don’t want that!”

102. “Sickness is nature’s way of saying you need more naps. Enjoy it!”

103. “Get well soon, because the world needs more of your fabulousness and fewer of your germs!”

104. “Here is that attention you ordered… get well soon!”
(Shop card at Amazon)

Funny get well soon card with "here's that attention you ordered!"
Photo courtesy of Amazon

105. “This ain’t one of your usual namby-pamby “get well “ cards and I’m not gonna ask you to get well soon. I’m Ordering you to get well right now!”

106. “May your recovery be full and speedy. Not glacial like the global economy.”

107. “This “get well” card may not make you feel any better… But it shouldn’t make you feel any worse either!”

108. “Well, at least you don’t have to wear a cone.”
(Shop card at Etsy)

funny get well soon quote card with an image of a dog wearing a cone
Photo courtesy of Pyramid Apparel Design

Save these funny get well soon messages

Did you save these funny get well soon quotes on Pinterest yet?

108 hilarious cards for a speedy recovery and a funny get well soon note

Final notes on these funny get well soon quotes

Alright, go ahead and use these 108 funny get well soon messages to spread smiles and joy to your loved ones in need of a chuckle because love and laughter are truly the best medicine.

AUTHOR

Hi, I’m Lara, a 30-year-old travel-lover (but who’s not these days?). I love reading, puzzling, world-heritage sites, researching, and making lists, which comes in quite handy when you’re making lists of travel gift ideas!