93 Funny Welcome Home Quotes That’ll Brighten Any Return

Written by: Lara
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Funny welcome home quotes for anyone with a starry background

Whether you’re looking for funny welcome home quotes for your loved one who is returning from uni, the hospital, a globetrotting adventure, work, deployment, or basically any grand escapade, we’ve got you covered! You’ve probably waited for this moment for months and been counting the days since they left. So of course, you want their return to be special. But why stop there? Let’s make their return not just special but downright unforgettable.

Because as sweet as a heartfelt welcome back message can be, it’s also a bit, well. Basic.

So why not spice things up with a touch of humor? With funny welcome home messages that will have them grinning from ear to ear, and remind them that it’s good to be home. Plus, by welcoming them back in style and leaving a lasting impression – they might think twice before embarking on another epic journey! (Or not, but at least you tried).

Are you short on time? Check out our team’s favorite funny welcome home wishes for each occasion

  • For your husband: “Guess who’s back to turn my clean house into a mess? I mean… I missed you.”
  • For your wife: “Welcome home! The houseplants missed you, but don’t worry, they’re still alive… barely.”
  • For your siblings: “Don’t you dare leave me with Mom and Dad alone, ever again! Oh, and welcome back.”
  • For your children: “Back from university, huh? I hope your degree came with a side of laundry skills.”
  • For military homecomings: “Mission complete: Home sweet home!”
  • For friends: “Welcome back home! You were deeply missed… by someone. Not me, but I’m sure the liquor store from across the road missed you for its daily income.”
  • For someone returning from the hospital: “Welcome back from the hospital! From now on, you’ll let other people do your stunts.”
  • For a colleague: “Welcome back to the sh*t hole!”
  • For boss: “Glad you’re back! Now we’ve got someone to solve all our problems again.”
  • For students: “Welcome back! May your coffee be strong and your grades stronger.”
  • For travelers: “You made it back alive! Phew!”

Save these funny welcome home quotes

I know you don’t like to hear it, but let’s face it. Chances are your loved one will have to go and leave again. So you will probably need these welcome back messages in the future again. Help your future self to easily find these quotes by pinning them on Pinterest!

93 funny welcome back quotes to share with anyone

Welcome home quotes for husband

Are you looking for more sweet messages to share with your husband upon his return? Check out these articles too!

1. “Welcome home! The fridge is stocked, the TV remote is ready, and your favorite spot on the couch awaits.”

2. “Welcome back to the sh*t show, I hope you brought presents.”

3. “Welcome back, my knight in shining armor! The castle was falling apart without you. Seriously, can you fix the light bulb and my car?”

4. “Guess who’s back to rescue me from the terrifying spiders? I mean…. So happy that I can cuddle you again.”

5. “Back from your adventures? I hope you’re ready for some more adventures in the bedroom!”

6. “Welcome home, my love! The bed was lonely without you…”

7. “Guess who’s back to turn my clean house into a mess? I mean… I missed you.”

8. “Back from the daily grind? Well, get ready for the nightly unwind.”

9. “Welcome home! Would you care to engage in some nighttime shenanigans?”

10. “Welcome back from the wild! I hope you’re ready for a wild welcome.”

11. “Welcome back to the fun house. Or crazy house, or chaos house, or whatever, we’re glad you’re back.”

A funny welcome back quote for you husband
Funny welcome home quote for your husband

Funny welcome back messages for your wife

Are you looking for more sweet messages to share with your wife upon her return? Check out these articles too!

12. “Welcome home! The houseplants missed you, but don’t worry, they’re still alive… barely.”

13. “Back to reality, where laundry awaits and the fridge is suspiciously empty. We missed you!”

14. “Welcome home! Please ignore the mess, or not. We saved it all up just for you!”

15. “Welcome back to the circus… I meant our home. Welcome back to our home.”

16. “Finally! The Ho & Me are back together! Welcome home, babe.”

17. “Welcome home, my queen! The kingdom of our cozy couch has been eagerly awaiting its royal presence.”

18. “Guess who’s back to dazzle my world with errands and chores? Ehm… I mean elegance and grace. Welcome home!”

19. “Welcome back, my gorgeous goddess! The house missed its daily dose of cleaning and tidying… I mean charm and love. Glad you’re back to provide both!”

20. “Welcome home, my love! The bed was missing its other half, but fear not – it’s ready for some serious action.”

21. “Back from the daily hustle? Well, get ready for the nightly romance. Welcome home, my sexy wife!”

22. “I missed your face almost as much as I missed your cooking. I’m glad you’re home because I was about to start eating cereal for every meal!”

23. “Guess who’s back to dazzle my world with errands and chores? Ehm… I mean elegance and grace. Welcome home!”

Funny welcome home quotes: 18. "Guess who's back to dazzle my world with errands and chores? Ehm… I mean elegance and grace. Welcome home!"
Funny welcome back messages for your wife

Funny welcome home messages for siblings

24. “Welcome home! Your absence created a void that could only be filled with your unique chaos.”

25. “Welcome back! We’re all pretending we didn’t borrow your stuff and claimed your room while you were gone.”

26. “Welcome home… Just kidding, Mom made me send this, please leave so I can keep borrowing your stuff without asking.”

27. “Well, well, look who decided to show up! The house was starting to enjoy the peace and quiet without you.”

28. “Guess who’s back to steal my snacks and mess with my stuff? Welcome home, I would have said un-welcome home, but Mum said that I couldn’t say that.”

29. “Welcome back! The bathroom schedule is about to become a battlefield once again. May the odds be ever in your favor.”

30. “Uni life may have toughened you up, but can you handle the trials of the family dinner table?”

31. “Don’t you dare leave me with Mom and Dad alone, ever again! Oh, and welcome back.”

32. “Welcome back! But remember, I can only be nice to you for 1 day, after that, we will return to normal again.”

33 “Guess who’s back to raid my closet and ‘borrow’ my stuff without asking? Welcome home… I guess.”

33. "Guess who's back to raid my closet and 'borrow' my stuff without asking? Welcome home… I guess."quote
Funny welcome home message for your sister

Funny welcome back wishes for your child

34. “Guess who’s back to steal my charger and leave empty snack bags everywhere? I mean… welcome home, my child!”

35. “Welcome home, world traveler! The washing machine and I were starting to forget what piles of laundry looked like, glad to have you and your outfits back!”

36. “Back from university, huh? I hope your degree came with a side of laundry skills.”

37. “Welcome back my uni! Get ready for a crash course in ‘How to Survive Mom’s Endless Questions 101.'”

38. “Welcome home! The fridge is full, but beware – parental inquiries about your life choices are also well-stocked.”

39. “Guess who’s back from the army and about to face the fiercest opponent yet – Mom’s questions about your love life. Good luck, soldier!”

40. “Good news: Your room is just as you left it. Bad news: Your room is just as you left it, a big mess!”

Welcome home my daughter "40. "Good news: Your room is just as you left it. Bad news: Your room is just as you left it, a big mess!”
Funny welcome back wishes for your daughter

Funny military homecoming quotes

41. “So happy you’re finally home from deployment! But can you go back for some more tax-free pay?” 

42. “Mission complete: Home sweet home!”

43. “Back in the trenches of home life!”

44. “From deployment to family deployment!”

45. “Mission complete: family reassembled!”

46. “We are so happy that you returned home safely! Now mow the lawn, wash the car, and take the kids. I’m going to sleep for a MONTH!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny military homecoming card
Photo courtesy of Offensive Occasions US

Funny welcome home quotes for friends

Are you looking for more funny messages to share with your friend? Or perhaps a sweet gift is a good idea, check out the articles below.

47. “Welcome back home! You were deeply missed… by someone. Not me, but I’m sure the liquor store from across the road missed you for its daily income.”

48. “Welcome back! Don’t expect much, but at least you got this message!”

49. “Done with the Live, Love, Leave, it’s time for the Live, Love, Laugh with me!”

50. “Welcome…ish. Depends if you brought gifts, snacks, booze, or good stories!”

51. “Welcome home! I put on pants, just for your welcome, that’s how much I missed you!”

52. “I’ve missed your resting b*tch face, welcome back!”

53. “Welcome back, I f’ing missed you, you know?”

54. “I knew you would miss me! Welcome home mate!”

55. “If you’re reading this, you’re home.”

56. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit… look who’s finally back!”

Home sweet home funny welcome back quotes for friends 56. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit… look who’s finally back!"
Funny welcome home quote for friends

Funny Welcome Home from the Hospital quotes 

Do need more inspiration for speedy recovery messages to share with someone who just returned home from the hospital?

Then check out these 108 funny get well soon messages!

57. “Welcome back home. Just shout if you need anything, literally, you know I’m deaf and I won’t hear you unless you shout.” 

58. “Welcome back! Get ready for some normal food at home!”

59. “Welcome home! The only white coats you’ll see now are the laundry piles waiting for your attention. Just kidding, please take it easy.”

60. “Out of the hospital bed and into mine – the only prescription you need is a healthy dose of home comforts!”

61. “Welcome back! The hospital may have had a TV, but our home has me (okay, and a more comfortable couch.)”

62. “Welcome home! The only appointments on your schedule now are with me (okay, and the couch and the TV remote.)”

63. “The doctors said you will be back to your old self in no time! I’m not sure I’m ready for that though… can’t you stay in the hospital a little longer?”

64. “Welcome back from the hospital! From now on, you’ll let other people do your stunts.”

65. “Welcome back home. If you need anything, just ring this bell… But wait until I leave to test it out!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny get well card message with a bell and "if you need anything, just ring this bell... but wait until I leave to test it out. "
Photo courtesy of Foxie Doxie Designs

Funny welcome back messages to a colleague

Are you looking for more funny messages to share with your colleagues?

Then check out these posts to

66. “Welcome back! We’ve been running low on sarcasm and bad jokes without you.”

67. “The prodigal worker returns! Brace yourself for the cascade of unread emails.”

68. “Welcome back! We missed our designated provider of office gossip and memes.”

69. “Congratulations on completing your unscheduled vacation! Now, welcome back to the chaos.”

70. “Welcome back. Now get to work!”

71. “Welcome back! Don’t worry, only the first five days of the week are challenging.”

72. “Welcome back to the sh*t hole!”

73. “Sip sip hooray! It’s your first day back.”

74. “Welcome back! PS. I told everyone you were having your fourth boob job and are addicted to plastic surgery. Have fun on your first lunch break 😉.”

75. “Welcome back after your maternity leave, you will finally be able to finish your coffee when it’s still hot!”

76. “Good luck going back to work. After months of cleaning up baby sh*t, now you have to put up with your boss’ sh*t!”
(Shop card at Etsy)

Funny card for someone going back to work after maternity leave
Photo courtesy of Laura Lonsdale Designs

Funny welcome back boss quotes

Are you looking for more funny messages to share with your boss?

Then check out these posts to

77. “Welcome back! We managed to survive without you, but we definitely didn’t thrive.”

78. “Glad you’re back! Now we’ve got someone to solve all our problems again.”

79. “Back from vacation, huh? Brace yourself for the mountain of emails, the desert of unanswered messages, and the jungle of pending approvals. Welcome to the office safari!”

80. “Back from the land of relaxation! Get ready to trade in those beach vibes for the thrilling ambiance of office fluorescent lighting.”

81. “Welcome back, boss! The only thing that increased in your absence was the number of unanswered Slack messages. We missed you… sort of.”

82. “You must have missed us because here you are again!”

Welcome back boss, You must have missed us because here you are again!
Funny welcome back boss quote

Funny welcome welcome back to school messages

Are you looking for a sweet gift to welcome your teachers back to school?

Then check out these 25 teacher gift ideas.

83. “Welcome back, scholars! I hope your summer reading list was at least entertaining. Get ready to convince me that you did, in fact, finish that assigned book.”

84. “Welcome back, students! We’ve missed your enthusiasm for homework and your creative ways of avoiding it.”

85. “Wake up and smell the chalk dust, welcome back!”

86. “Welcome back! May your coffee be strong and your grades stronger.”

87. “School is back, and so is our mastery of the art of looking busy when the teacher walks by.”

88. “Hello, students! Ready for another year of turning caffeine into essays?”

88. "Hello, students! Ready for another year of turning caffeine into essays?"
Funny welcome welcome back to school messages

Funny Funny welcome home quotes for travelers

If you’re welcoming home a traveler and you want them to stay home for good, bribe them with one of these epic welcome home gifts for travelers!

89. “Congrats! You made it back alive, without any injury, or lost items, who would have thought?”

90. “Guess who’s back? The prodigal adventurer returns! Hope you brought souvenirs!”

91. “Did you bring snacks? No? Well, let’s try this welcome back another time then.”

92. “You made it back alive! Phew!”

93. “Home sweet home! Get ready for a warm welcome and a not-so-warm climate.”

93. "Home sweet home! Get ready for a warm welcome and a not-so-warm climate."
Funny welcome back quotes for travelers

Final notes on these funny welcome back wishes

With these 93 funny welcome back quotes, you will make their homecoming an unforgettable event. Whether you’re sending them to a friend, your spouse, co-workers, or family members, these quotes are sure to bring smiles, laughter, and maybe even a few snorts of amusement.

AUTHOR

Hi, I’m Lara, a 30-year-old travel-lover (but who’s not these days?). I love reading, puzzling, world-heritage sites, researching, and making lists, which comes in quite handy when you’re making lists of travel gift ideas!